M.E Sufferers Malta News List<![CDATA['Relapse 2' by Nancy Gatt]]>U l-bebbuxu waqaf hesrem
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It-taghbija ta’ fuq dahru
tghattnu l’isfel
U f’din is-sura mghattna
waqaf
miblugh

u ma nduna hadd

Ma semghux karba
Hierga minn gewwinieh
Ghax karba ma hargitx

Harget biss tnehida bla hoss

Imma minn kull fejn kien ghadda
Halla sinjal imzelleg

 

 

]]><![CDATA['ME : Your Worse Nightmare' by Linda Crowhurst]]>www.stonebird.co.uk/poetry.html

ME : Your Worse Nightmare

by Linda Crowhurst

    I want you to think
    of the worst illness
    you have ever had
    Remember how dreadfully ill
    you felt
    How everything you normally did
    suddenly became totally unmanageable
    Perhaps your head hurt so bad
    that you had to lay in bed all day to cope
    Perhaps you felt or were utterly sick
    and food made you feel even worse
    Perhaps you were dizzy ,off balance
    and disorientated
    so that you had to sit or lie down
    or fall over
    Perhaps you had an operation and
    felt  weak, groggy and sore.
    You must have felt out of synch with the world
    and unable to participate in it
    like you  normally would
    Now I want you to add pain
    Pain that spreads all over your body
    Not just one sort of pain
    but pain that throbs ,
    pain that burns, pain that itches
    and screams at you
    pain that crawls up your skin
    and invades every millimetre of your body:
    Your nose, your eyebrows,
    your eyeballs,your ears, your scalp,
    your neck, your front,
    your back,your toes,
    even the soles of your feet
    Everything expanding and
    contracting in agony
    Now look inwards
    and you find your stomach hurts,
    your  intestines throb,
    your diaphragm aches,
    your muscles burn
    with exquisite pain
    like you have never known before
    Now imagine that this
    unbearable, intollerable,
    never ending pain
    that you simply dont know
    how to tolerate
    Gets worse everytime you
    sit or lie down
    and intensifies even more so that when,
    if ever ,
    you actually manage to get to sleep
    you waken up in even more
    tormenting pain than 
    you were in before
    And this is only the
    beginning of your nightmare.
    Now I want you to imagine the world has
    suddenly got incredibly loud and everything
    is irritating to your ears.
    Noise sends piercing pain into your head
    and the vibrations echo round your whole body
    exacerbating every inch of pain to a crescendo
    A whisper sounds like a shout
    Banging in the street turns your head
    into a drum
    Music which you previously loved
    suddenly becomes a torrent of cascading irritation
    Voices on the radio suddenly become
    an assault of indefinable words and sounds
    The picture moving on the tv screen becomes
    a piercing blur that tears at your eyes
    and pierces your mind
    You cannot follow the plot
    You cannot understand what is going on.
    Incoming information jams in your head
    You are left in a bewildering fuddle
    Your thoughts disappear and your mind
    becomes an empty blank
    The phone rings and you put your head
    in a cushion to stop the noise
    And now you begin to realize that
    you are being tortured by normality
    Think what it is like to discover
    that people make you feel very ill.
    Their very presence, their noise,
    their movements,their conversation,
    their perfume,
    even their touch, makes you feel
    worse and worse and worse
    so that you cannot  bear to see people,
    you cannot talk to them,
    you cannot answer their questions
    You cannot even speak on the phone
    to them or hold a pen to write a letter.
    Think what it is like to then discover
    that on top of all this
    you are light sensitive.
    Even dim light hurts your eyes.
    Suddenly you have to live in  darkened room,
    wear sun glasses in winter
    Cover your head with a cloth
    to avoid over stimulation
    and to your dismay you find that your muscles
    have mysteriously ceased to function
    Your hands wont hold anything
    Your legs wont work
    Sometimes your eyes wont open and you cannot
    speak
    You cannot eat without help
    You have not got the energy to chew your food
    Swallowing has become difficult
    and dangerous as food gets stuck
    You have become strangely sensitive
    to most foods and only a
    strict diet is possible
    and very very dull..
    Working has become totally impossible
    You cannot do the basic things
    you need to do to get through the day
    You cannot get to the toilet unaided
    You cannot cook your food
    You cannot wash and iron your
    clothes or clean the house or
    use the hoover
    or mow your lawn or answer
    the door or post a letter.
    All the things you take for
    granted simply disappear from reach.
    You cannot even walk.
    And your worse nightmare
    has come true too
    Every time you sleep - and you find
    this is sometimes two or three times a day-
    you wake up completely and absolutely  totally
    Paralyzed.
    Conscious
    Yet unable to speak or call for help
    You have to lie and wait in a
    numb body that cannot move,
    Tormented by intense pain and
    extreme pins and needles
    you wait till finally help comes
    But even then you cannot bear
    to be touched or moved.
    You are helpless to the
    power of this paralysis
    till it releases you slowly
    from its clutches.
    Imagine all this happening to you
    not once or twice or even for a few days,
    but continuously
    day after day
    night after night
    week after week.
    month after month
    year after year
    decade after decade
    Imagine this surreal
    life suddenly
    becoming your whole life
    without relent
    Then discover that
    this is not like any other illness
    where you are treated with respect
    provided with a knowledgeable consultant
    Given proper biomedical tests
    and offered treatments
    based on the results.
    And your GP actually
    believes you are physically  ill
    Not so in this illness.
    Nothing is given.
    Nothing is as it should be.
    Everything is different.
    Now you find that you are on your own.
    Most people and especially
    professional people,
    but also your friends and family
    who should love and care for you
    Simply don't believe you.
    Cannot understand you.
    Give up trying
    Blame you for being ill
    Get angry and persecute
    or reject you
    Simply fade away.
    This is now your ongoing reality.
    Severe illness.
    Complete Isolation.
    Neglect.
    Poverty.
    Torment.
    Denial.
    No biomedical  treatment.
    No proper testing.
    Difficulty getting aids
    and equipment to help.
    Difficulty accessing services
    and benefits you are entitled to.
    Difficulty communicating your needs.
    Living on the edge of society.
    Abandoned by people.
    No hope and little understanding.
    The future  is dim..
    Think how this feels.
    Remember what I have said.
    Then do something about it,
    Change my reality.
    Speak up for ME.
    Reach out to those in need.
    Understand their illness.
    Understand the
    true horror of their experience.
    Stand in solidarity with them.
    Make things change for the better.
    and make it  happen today.
    Speak up for ME.
    Invest in ME.
    Remember ME.

    11th May 2010

]]><![CDATA['Relapse' by Nancy Gatt]]>F’din l-ezistenza dellija
Nitmieghek go sodda mqallba
Kamarti hadet sura ohra
U jien ma naghrafhiex

Xejn ma jintgharaf
Il-membri ta’ gismi wkoll
Infexxew f’ribelljoni mdemmija

Bil-pacenzja nistenna
Dil-qilla tghaddi minn fuqi
Bhal romblu li jidrisni
U jixhetni
Go sodda
Nitmieghek

Nistenna…
…bil-pacenzja li tghallimt f’Getsemani ta’ eluf ta’ snin

Nistenna…

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